Try to forgive yourself. Please, just try.
Forgiveness is a very hard thing for a lot of us. We will hold onto past hurts, past events that did not go as we wished, and even lost opportunities. Often times, we will let friendships, colleagues, and sometimes family members go rather than forgive them. It can take some of us decades to forgive people; if ever in some cases. And often the one person we never forgive is ourselves. Being human means that we need to forgive ourselves. We are not always going to do things right, say the right thing, or even do right by others all of the time. I know I have been getting frustrated with myself, lately, as I have a long list of things that I need to get done, and somehow the days keep passing without scratching a single item off that list. Yet I don’t see all that I do get done because those things never made it on my list to begin with.
When I get frustrated I’m, then, just missing out on life because I am angry or hurt that things did not go as I wanted them to. I know I am not the only one who this happens to. I have had patients recently tell me that they wanted to cancel their appointments because they have not done what I asked of them. They don't want to fess up to it. However, they always feel better when they are truthful, and we then make adjustments so that they can be successful. It takes a lot to acknowledge that we have not done what we said we would do. The more we can forgive ourselves then the more of life we can experience. No one ever said life was going to be easy, but people do say that this or that was worth it because of the experience.
Please take time to forgive yourself, and, as equally important, the other people in your life. I know it is not an easy thing to ask. However, someone does not normally think that their lack of forgiveness is affecting their health, but it is. Strained relationships cause stress. Always having a list of things that are not done, and fretting over it, causes stress. Stress can affect our immune system, our sleep, our energy, and our health in many more ways.
If you cannot forgive people, or yourself, for big things then at least try as you lie down at night to forgive yourself for the other smaller things from the day. Just try it. You may find that on a daily basis you’ll start to forgive yourself and the people around you. We are all learning and growing day by day, still, and at every age. Think of how much lighter you will feel as you go to sleep each night knowing that you were able to forgive yourself and others. You did your best today with where you are in life, and that is all that we can ask of ourselves.
Image Credit: Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld (Wikipedia) (Public Domain)