No baby yet, and, unfortunately, I'm dwelling on that.
Patience is a virtue... or so they say. Well my patience is, admittedly, wearing thin as I am sure most pregnant ladies feel as they come to, and surpass, their “due date.” I am currently 41 weeks pregnant which, mind you, is still a normal time for pregnancy. However, as I eluded to earlier, this unknown date of when baby is going to come out is taking its toll on my patience and emotions. I have been reading countless websites of how to naturally induce labor, what the signs and symptoms of labor can be, and then, instead, I just get off the internet and polish some silver. Heck, I might want to use my silver set in the next month or two; who knows. In short, I guess nesting is happening in this household so I can check that one off the list of signs of upcoming labor.
Even with all the “wisdom” read of how to naturally induce labor, I have decided to not push my body. I am taking time to rest, and walk as much as I can. I am listening to my midwife and allowing her to be my doctor rather than trying to doctor myself; this can be hard at times. I’ve also become more accustomed to how easy it is to find medical information on the internet (and want to use it on yourself), but it is always best to leave it to the professionals. Even us professionals need to leave our healthcare to other professionals. We cannot be our own doctors, and neither should you be.
In this time of waiting, I am learning a lot about myself, about my husband, and even my family. We all process waiting in different ways. I have learned, with my mother’s help, how to crochet, and now this little baby has 4 hats that I have made for it. I made one for my cousin’s newborn daughter too, and I am starting to crochet other things as well. I have tried to read a book or two, but I am currently on chapter 1-2 of 5 different books, and cannot focus on one long enough to read more. My husband has also needed time for himself to process the waiting game, but he is there when I need him as my hormones shift from laughter to sadness in a matter of moments. My parents who have come out to help with the baby (or at least just wait with us as we wait for the baby) have been enjoying reading books, crocheting hats for their grandkids, and walking around our neighborhood. I am not judging any of us in how we are dealing with the waiting game. Instead, it just has been an experience to see how each one of us responds.
Soon, I know the waiting game will be over, and the next 20 years of life will have passed in the blink of an eye. Will I remember waiting for this little one to come? Most likely not as I will have many more memories, adventures, and experiences to remember. It is hard to stay present when you are excited for the next phase of life, but present is what I must be as I allow my body (and most definitely my baby...) to be in charge. “Soon, little one, we will all be holding you,” I tell it, “loving you more than we already do,” and then we’ll, of course, be into the next phase of our lives. But until then, the take home message is patience is a virtue, and to have this virtue you need to stay present in the moment while not thinking too much about the future or the past.
Image Credit: Edgar Degas (Wikipedia) (Public Domain)